not an addict, maybe a dick =)

I’m a fan. I’m a follower. I’m a friend. But never been an addict.

I love Spiderman but honestly, I don’t memorize everything about it. I love Emma Stone but I don’t collect her pictures. I love Super Junior but I don’t buy their 500-peso worth albums. I love tennis but I don’t play. I love John Lloyd but who cares about watching his movies on premiere nights? I love Maroon Five but I wont spend a lot like 10 thousand pesos to watch their concert. I love them but I love myself too. I love my family and I love my friends – the actual people. Ones I could touch and laugh with.

You see, if I’ll just let my fondness rule over me I’ll be isolated from the people in real world. Instead of going out with friends, I’ll be in my room whole day watching everything about my idols; instead of studying my lesson, I will be busy studying how to speak Korean, Japanese or Chinese just so I can speak it in front of my friends who actually don’t understand a bit; instead of making my family better, I’ll just bother them by asking money to buy luxuries like albums or posters; instead of just buying what I need, i will also buy my wants that are unnecessary.

That is, if I’m an addict. But, I declare, I AM NOT.

I hate addiction to anything or anyone. Even if I classified one of my widgets to be an addiction, it is actually not. I hate being hooked into something, I don’t wanna be a victim of popularity or infamy I guess. I love things and people but sooner or later I forget them. It’s not that I’m mean or what, I just want to try anything else. I don’t want to be isolated into this one thing that I think makes my world go round for if that happens I am putting an end to my growth. It’s like my world stopped at a certain time where I stopped the development of my emotions, my intellect, my sexuality and every aspects of me. I don’t want that. I want to be dynamic and of course I just wanna be myself after all – and being myself is just exploring my inner side and bringing out the best that I can be. I want to be a fan of what is best in me. What is the greatest love of all?

As I’ve said on a post, addiction is awful. You spend so much of your life to something or someone that you already forget to be yourself, to bring out something that is unique in you and to create someone better out of you. It’s fun to idolize, it’s fun to look up to someone or something, but at the end of the day you must ask yourself, “Who am I? Do I like to be a follower of this? Is there nothing I can do? Why can’t I be just me?”

Life is short to waste on too much of something. C’mon guys! Try everything. Don’t focus on something earnestly coz you might lose yourself along the way. 

P.S. Actually the best part of being just an ordinary fan is that you can love it with no pressures. You have the right to just forget everything. Unless you really want to show off or to brag.

(Natuyo lang ko. zzzzzz)


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