same old me again today

Have you ever wake up and realized it’s still today? I mean, literally it could be the next day but everything is still the same. Tomorrow’s not here. It seems like everyday, the time is not turning and you’re stuck up. What’s worse is when you’re stuck in a moment you don’t really want to be. You want to forward time but it seems like forever.

Yeah right, it’s me. Me again. Old fucking drama. Whatever. My emo side is back. So what, bitch?

Lately I have been wondering why my world turned upside down. Yeah, I know it’s my fault but I don’t know why things are so messed up. I’m stuck. Fine. But then I realized that it’s all in my mind. That’s it because I want it that way. I don’t want to go forward. I want to be just right here. And that’s not making any sense at all, I know. Who wouldn’t want to live life fresh and new everyday? Maybe I’m just crazy.

I’m crazy for not trying. I want to try. Well, I’ve tried, I know I’ve tried. But there are really things in life that you cannot get away. There are really things that even though it’s not meant to happen, it happened and it’s still happening because you chose it that way.

You chose to be stranded. Destiny is really a matter of choice. 

Sometimes I say to myself “from now on I choose to be happy”. But I know I’m not yet ready to go forward. I want to plan my life and I want to make smart choices.

Oh actually forget it. Fuck planning and choosing and whatever. I’ve been there and it did not do me any good. Smart choices cannot make you happy most of the time. It can even ruin your life. Just live life everyday, so what if I’m stuck? what if i’m fucked up?

I’m not happy but at least I know what I want even though I can’t have it.
I’m not happy but I think that this is a good choice.
I am not happy, but so what? It’s not your life.

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