one of the boys

I have boy friends, I mean,  friends that are boys, like a lot. They are even more in numbers than my female friends. I love being with boys. I love how they can be transparent with everything. I love how they can be more understanding. I love how they can be straight-to-the-point. Ultimately, I love how they can be less judgmental. Given a chance, I’d rather be with them than to be stuck with my other friends. I grabbed a lot of chances, like, I had so many drunk moments with my male friends and I often go out with them with no malice at all. Purely platonic.

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That’s why I’m like this. I mean, I am so boyish in thoughts, in looks and even in what I say. A friend even told me that I am “ONE THE BOYS” and that’s why he’s comfortable being with me. I liked that comment. I am one of the boys and I don’t even care if that would make me unattractive to guys. I told him, “Paano maging maarte man? Ina balang daw nami kaman tulukon kag mahinhin. One time lang” and he answered, “Indi na Jorge ah, sadya ka na ya! One of the boys, cowboy. Ayos na na!” And I said to myself that he’s right. But due to my over-analysis, I realized that maybe that’s the reason I can’t have a guy because he would think that we are too alike to be together. Same poles repel, right? Maybe I have to change.

Change? Me? Not gonna happen. I don’t like to be objectified. I don’t want to be a normal pretty girl who when guys look at me, they are already plotting ways to get laid with me. I don’t want to be looked at like a property. I want to be myself and be somebody’s best friend and lover. If you want to have a feminine, soft-spoken, finesse, fashionista, maria clara, pretty girlfriend, trust me, I am not what you’re looking for. But if you want to have someone you could talk to about anything under the sun, someone who could be your drinking buddy, you reading partner, your Dota/LOL/Counterstrike teammate, your confidante, your part-time lover full-time friend, then I’d like to be considered.

Well then, I am and will always be one of the boys.

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