I want to change. I want to really change. I think about it every second of the day. But I know I am too cool for that so even though I don’t exactly agree to the things I did, I will stay the same.
If you want to know why this post suddenly occurred, well, it is for the reason that I think I did something really awkward and unexpected and totally crazy, for the second time around. I won’t tell you what but imagine the weirdest thing you think I could have done.
I don’t understand why I keep on doing the same mistakes over and over again. It’s not even good. I mean, the reason why I consider such a “mistake” was because the things I did were socially wrong. Even my brain cannot fully process those stupid bits and pieces. I cannot totally agree to it but part of me finds it okay. What makes it more okay was the fact that I did it without regrets. Yes, I know I should not have done that. But as I have said, it’s fine. It was not prejudicial to the rights of other persons. In fact, it was only me who should suffer the consequences, if there are, and I am willing and ready to face it. I find myself “normal”. Those things happened for a reason. I messed up for a purpose. I am still alive. I am still on the right track.
*This post is part of a certain rationalization and repression process